Plotting your demise. Hate is a strong word.

   I got asked the funniest question today. If I could have revenge on anyone in the world, who and what would it be?
   So here I am right? Sitting, eyes glazed because- not that I'm at a loss for words because that's not it at all. The problem is I have too many words.
   If I could get you back you douche, I would take a rusty butter knife and peel off all of your skin and then roll you in salt. (Thank you Bre) I would make you use acid as mouth rinse, and leeches as toothpaste. I'd make you take a bath in tacks. I'd hang you by your toes and hang you within rabid dog's reaches. I'd keep you alive for years as every day you suffer a thousand times the pain you cause me... Its a challenge to keep you alive with these circumstances, which is why it will take years to complete your share of karma.
   I'd pull all of your teeth out with pliers, and then I'd make you play jacks with them, and your left eye. I'd videotape your torture to relive in after you are six feet under in the junk yard. I'd drive a nail a little deeper into your ear everyday and if you wince I'd drive it deeper. I'd make you cut off both of your own thumbs to ensure that escape was futile, because although revenge is worth my time, I like to sleep and I can't have you running off before we're even now can I?
   I'd cut your eye lids off and feed you sleeping pills. I'd sew your ass hole shut and make you eat three tubs of lard. I'd make you use lemon juice as eye drops and salt water as peroxide for your wounds. You'd soon become used to this mild form of humorous torture and now's when we move on to the big fun.
   I'd hang you on the cross for all the times you thought you were Jesus. I'd pierce your tongue for every time you didn't bite it. I'd give you a black eye for every tear you've ever made me cry (get ready for that one) I'd stake your feet for every journey you forbid me with your selfish action. I'd use your finger nails as a necklace for all the times I missed the touch I needed. Regret it yet? Good, because either way we're going to try harder.
   I would write the raven by Edgar Allan Poe with a fork on your back. You're thirsty? Here, I drained this blood from you an hour ago, drink that you bastard. Its better than what they'll give you in Hell. At least this is your own blood.
   I'd drive a bat further and further up your ass until you threw up. Guess who's not sitting down for a while? I'd stretch your bottom lip down past your chin until it touched your chest then I'd tattoo "Death Row Next In Line" on it. I'd make you sing me Baby by Justin Bieber until you barfed rainbows (harsh I know) I'd make sure you knew who your daddy was. Me.
   Oh, did I mention I'd scalp that ridiculous hair cut off your head and staple it to your pube-less genitals? Think of it like this- I'm doing you a favor.
   I'd break both of your ankles and twist them both three times each around, or until the skin wouldn't pull any tighter. The same goes for your wrists and your... Well enough said.
   Every three months I'd take you outside and make you dig another five feet in your grave. I'd ask if you would like a church service then I'd remember, oh yeah. No one would show up. You'd see the world, all the trees and clouds and fresh air, then it's back to the feces smelling chamber below my stairs with you and all the fleas and stds that follow.
   So... If I could have revenge on anyone in the world who and what would it be?... "Revenge isn't nice Mrs. Callwell. I'd let the knowledge that they hurt me be punishment enough." I received a piece of chocolate and a pat on the head.
   Karma is coming. Have your shackles ready.