Can No One Save Him?

   My dearest brother, you have helped me, through good times and the worst times. Your promises meant everything, I truly believe them always. Your smile told me without even a single word that things would get better. Your hug would crush away my fears, your hand would wipe away my fears. I love you more than anyone else could and I dream that you believe me, just as I believe you.
   You hate to be alone, and I wish I never had to leave, but sometimes the world has its way of pulling us apart from the things we need most. In your case it is company. I don't know how you feel about love. But I'm sure you have your say on the matter. Have you found it in the past? Do you have it now?
   I want to be the person that fills the empty place that you seem so frightened of... I want to hold you to me and we can laugh and smoke the monsters away, those terrible demons that would surely take away your sanity? All you need right now is a smile and some love, I hope a sister's love is enough.
   The smoke and giggles would surround their contorted grins and drive them back to hell my friend, for there is no better conqueror then the root source of our fear- Love.
   Never leave my brother alone, he needs your touch like he needs the sun. I'm sure he sees the stars in your eyes and there's fireworks when you kiss. But never leave my brother alone. For when I'm not there, who will help him fend off the terrible emptiness? Who will hold him when I cannot? This is your job, don't let us down. Because who can save him? The question rolls slowly through my head and falls off the edge of my worried psyche, because while I am away, who can I trust to heed his demons at bay? Can I trust you? The one he calls baby to help him down the stairs in darkness? To hold the candle so he doesn't fall? Can I be sure you'll never leave? Or break his heart or let him rot? Can I trust you to make my rounds in my absence and call to him just as sweetly and calmly? I can never know if you hold him the same, in the way I know keeps the demons at bay. But I'm sure that he loves you and love is enough to singe the skin of monsters. A nightlight of the soul, his love radiates when someone is by his side. But darkness or not, he enjoys your company, and sometimes I'm sure he'll be fine... But I still wish it was me tucking him in, and hiding the knives in close reach. I still wish it was me and only me, that he needed and called when he did.
   Its a blessing that you care and say you'll always be there, but I'm jealous when you're in his arms. I am his sister, I should be there as we protect each other from fear, from harm, and from all the things that go bump in the dark. I know that when I am gone, and it seems I always have to leave, that its great that he has another hand to hold, lips to kiss and heart to love. But still leaving is now an even worse chore, for now accompanying fear, now is jealousy, angst and hate.
   For his fingers in your hair, and his arms around your waste, I'm sure for a while he forgets about me. But when I hold him and try to be brave to save him from the dark, I'm sure as we're embraced, that his mind is thinking of your face, and I wish I was in his mind as much as you were. Not as a romantic parner, not as a mouth to kiss. But as a sister who tries her best and always tells him he's the best and never leaves no matter what and always protects him... With all her heart.
   There's a special place in a little girl's heart for their older brothers. A place that would be empty if it weren't for their advice, their smile and their hand-me-down pick up lines. A brother is a person more precious than gold and is always treated with respect, though all little sisters know their big brothers mistakes, we don't judge, only learn, forgive, and move on. We love them with a love that is unlike any love, its not like friendship its not like mother its not like father its not like the love of a romantic partner or the love of the rain on your face. The love little sisters feel for their big brothers, is like a golden sun behind a silver moon that dances with warmth around its edges but there's always a cool sense of wisdom and mystery in the middle of it all. A dollop of sadness in the midst of the jokes, a tear drop of steel that falls into the pool of forget-me-not blue that is their beautiful soul.
   Brothers are the support beam around the world of the sister and with them there it seems they can dance forever. The stupid fights the disagreements mean nothing in the end, and all you remember are the smiles the laughs and the security, and to anyone who has ever been unfortunate enough to know the pain of loosing a brother... You know how tightly you have to hold to make sure others never fall from you again. That pain is something that no one should have to feel... And that's why I need you brother.